Zoltar Robzombie
SNL can't find anything funny ...
... other than the way other candidates pronounce his name. Really?
Zoltar Robzombie
Last night was a turning point of sorts. America's largest city and the world's financial capital (arguably ... at least at one time) voted for an inexperienced foreigner recently naturalized who proudly proclaims to be an Islamist and a Social Democrat to become the next mayor of NY City on the promise of rent control, free and faster buses, government-run grocery stores, and universal childcare, and a perennial favorite of the lunatic left ... defund the police in favor of social workers and "transit ambassadors." It's gonna be epic!
Who wouldn't vote for that? Well, I mean except for people with actual intelligence, world experience, and even a modicum of historical perspective. Yeah. Other than those folks, who wouldn't vote for free stuff?
It's a trick as old as humanity itself. And it appears to have worked on the cognitively impaired and historically deficient citizens of NYC under 40 who, in all likelihood couldn't spell Venezuela nor find it on a map of the world if asked to point to which continent it belongs.
And the sane people in the rest of the country (outside of Newsomefornia, of course) gasped while simultaneously cringing and starting a big batch of popcorn.
The city that never sleeps will likely see an exodus of probably close to a million people and somewhere in the vicinity of a trillion dollars in wealth (largely to Florida though Tennessee and Texas are in the running) while simultaneously experiencing a tsunami of those who won't contribute to the Empire State's economy but who also can't get enough free stuff paid for by other people's money.
Zoltar has pledged to make NYC a sanctuary city for child mutilation (both religious and those with gender dysphoria). So that could be a good thing, right?
The dawn of a new era of Socialist Equity and Capital Flight are right on your doorstep, New York. It's gonna be glorious! And it's going to be interesting to see how you work this out over the next four years. We're rooting for the return of sanity but until then ... have a great time and ... hopefully you'll learn something.
AKDarvinson
251105
PS. the title for this post comes from the cold open of SNL's most recent episode where the only thing SNL could find to "make fun of" about the candidate ... now new mayor ... is the way OTHER candidates pronounced his name. Let that sink in. They didn't choose to challenge his ideas or policy or even where his allegiance lies ... nope. Just the pronunciation of his name. Interesting, don't you think?
AKDarvinson New Music:
Zoltar Robzombie
[Verse 1]
Last night in the Big Apple, turning point so grand
World's money hub elects a newbie from a foreign land
Islamist, Social Dem, fresh off the boat he came
Rent control, free buses, groceries in government's name
[Chorus]
Who wouldn't vote for free stuff? Epic promises so bright
Defund the cops, send social workers into the night
Universal care, transit ambassadors on patrol
Zoltar Robzombie's got the keys, watch the city roll!
[Verse 2]
Cognitively impaired, under forty, can't spell Venezuela
Point to the map? Wrong continent, what a stellar fella
Trick as old as time, freebies paid by someone else
Sane folks gasp and cringe, popping corn on the shelf
[Chorus]
Who wouldn't vote for free stuff? Epic promises so bright
Defund the cops, send social workers into the night
Universal care, transit ambassadors on patrol
Zoltar Robzombie's got the keys, watch the city roll!
[Bridge]
Exodus incoming, million souls and trillions flee
To Florida, Tennessee, Texas wild and free
Tsunami of takers, sanctuary for the chop
Child mutilation haven, equity non-stop
[Verse 3]
New era dawns, Socialist dreams in the air
Capital flight, goodbye wealth, who could care?
SNL just mocks the name, pronunciation game
No policies challenged, allegiance all the same
[Chorus]
Who wouldn't vote for free stuff? Epic promises so bright
Defund the cops, send social workers into the night
Universal care, transit ambassadors on patrol
Zoltar Robzombie's got the keys, watch the city roll!
[Outro]
Glorious mess, four years to sort it out
Rooting for sanity, but till then, shout it out
Have a great time, learn a lesson or two
Zoltar Robzombie, NYC's deja vu!
