Woketard California

January 3, 2026

Welcome to the Woketard California  ...

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Woketard California

(Parody of "Hotel California")


[Verse 1]

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair 

Warm smell of weed smoke, rising up through the air 

Up ahead in the distance, I saw shimmering tents 

My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim 

I had to stop for the stench 


There she stood in the doorway, with slick-backed hair so fine 

And I was thinking to myself, "This could be heaven or hell in no time" 

Then he lit up a podcast and he showed me the way 

Voices down the corridor, I thought I heard them say...


[Chorus] 

Welcome to the Woketard California 

Such a lovely place (such a lovely face) 

Plenty of waste at the Woketard California 

Any time of year (any time of year) 

You can find it here 


[Verse 2] 

His mind is Tiffany-twisted, he’s got the French Laundry wine 

He’s got a lot of pretty, pretty aides that he calls friends 

How they dance in the Capitol, sweet summer sweat 

Some dance to remember, some dance to forget 


So I called up the voters 

"Please bring me my ballot" 

He said, "We haven't had that spirit here since 1969" 

And still those voices are calling from far away 

Wake you up in the middle of the night 

Just to hear them say...


[Chorus] 

Welcome to the Woketard California 

Such a lovely place (such a lovely face) 

Livin' it up with the Woketard California 

What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise) 

Bring your alibis 


[Verse 3] 

Tents on the sidewalk, needles in the sand 

Fires in the mountains from his master plan 

Last thing I remember, I was running for the door 

Had to find the passage back to the place I was before 

"Relax," said the Governor, "We are programmed to receive 

You can check out any time you like 

But your taxes’ll never leave!" 



[Bridge/Instrumental ]



[Verse 4 (Added for extra bite)]

Mirrors on the ceiling, high-speed rail to nowhere 

Billions down the drain, and the train's not even there 

PPE from China, masks that never came 

Exodus to Texas, but he calls it climate change 

Companies are leavin', Chevron packs its bags 

While he dines with donors and waves progressive flags 


[Final Chorus - Fading out] 

Welcome to the Woketard California 

Such a lovely place (such a lovely waste) 

Dying in the Woketard California 

What a bad surprise (homeless paradise) 

You can't escape his lies... 


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